Lady Greyjoy hates surprises (and her father)
by witchysiren
Summary: AU Tywin Lannister offers Queen Cersei in marriage to Lord Greyjoy and he accepts. Cersei centric with mentions of Tywin, Jaime, Balon, Yara and Euron. A scene or two from S7. Set in Season 4.


**AU Tywin Lannister offers Queen Cersei in marriage to Lord Greyjoy and he accepts. Cersei centric with mentions of Tywin, Jaime, Balon, Yara and Euron. A scene or two from S7. Set in Season 4.**

When Cersei was younger she had imagined marrying a man like her father. She had imagined a fair haired, green eyed nobleman on a white charger. He would wear Lannister Armour and be draped in a crimson Lannister Cloak. As she grew older she found no man measured up to her father. He was Kingly, he was stern and he was clever. She then stopped looking for Tywin in a husband when she realised that she was looking for Jaime in other men, then one day she stopped looking.

She had never felt more complete after she and Jaime became lovers. Then her father ruined everything. She was prepared to be the Queen mother but no he was going to separate her from Jaime and her children. It mattered not, she was already married to Jaime in her heart and in her head it was the only true marriage she would ever be in.

She despised her father but loved him at the same time. Despised him for selling her off like a broodmare for some ships from the bird shit islands. How did they even build ships they had no trees? She sighed it mattered not the old man would die soon and Jaime would find reasons to visit her. Maybe they could have another golden child it would make her days more bearable here in these gloomy islands.

When she arrived at the Iron Islands she had rehearsed her greetings "Lord Balon it is a pleasure to be here in the esteemed Iron Islands. May our union be loving and fruitful and as strong as the Ironborn fleet." She felt sick was it the lies or the sea sickness?

She went below deck to pack her stationery and her jewelry as the ship neared the shore. She heard loud shouting and loud stomping up on the deck. If she had ever though the Northerners were brutes and savages these Ironborn were worse. None worse than Robert Baratheon she conceded. Satisfied that nothing important was left behind she spotted the youngest lad and waved him over.

"What is your name boy?"

He mumbled something, Cersei did not understand and decided to call him boy.

"Here is a collection of my prized possessions boy and if any of them are missing I will have you flogged, do you understand?"

"Yes missus," he nodded seriously.

"Your Grace," she corrected him but then took in a sharp breath, no, she was a Lady once more. "You may address me as My Lady."

"Yes m'lady," the boy said holding the box with both hands.

She looked over the boy's head, spotting a man on a black horse on the shore. She felt a sense of foreboding.

"Who is that?" she asked distaste evident in her voice.

"Lord Euron Greyjoy," the island boy all but spat in disgust.

"The crows Eye?" Cersei asked _wasn't he exiled?_ she wondered

"Yes M'lady, Lord of the Iron Islands," the boy sneered.

"What has happened to Lord Balon," Cersei asked urgently

"He had a fall from the Moat and died," the boy said indicating to the man that awaited at the shore

 _Father have you just sold me to a Kin slaying madman?_ Cersei wondered.

"We follow Yara she's our true leader," the boy said walking beside Cersei.

"Fascinating," Cersei said not only did The Iron Islands have a Kinslayer as a Lord but the former Lord's daughter held the islander's loyalty.

"Cersei of House Lannister, I've heard a lot about you!" the new Lord of the Iron Islands greeted her wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

"Most of the things are false and borne of jealousy small minds tell fantastic tales," her lip twitched in irritation he had the nerve to address her by her name the uncouth barbarian.

"I hope not. I do like my women feisty and wicked," he bit his lip looking at her appreciatively.

"I am a Lady not your woman," she said with scorn looking up at him crossly. Cersei felt offended from the roots of her hair to her toes.

"Funny you stand below me but you still look down on me," the pirate feigned a look of hurt on his swarthy features.

"A skill I have My Lord," she gave him a false smile her brow shifting at the repulsion she felt for this rascal.

"Amongst many others I am sure," he mumbled realizing that he'd lost her attention as she looked toward the Pyke.

Father had finally done it. Cersei had lost all respect for her father he had not even checked to see if her betrothed was alive before shipping her off the least he could have done was ensure that things were stable in the Iron Islands. What purpose would a marriage alliance serve if there was no unity in the Islands? Judging from the boys reaction the islanders did not follow this ruffian.

"Would my Queen care for a ride the distance is..."

"Yes." She cut him off his voice irritated her infact everything irritated her the islands, the birds, the sand, the waves, the rocks and the fact that she was here and not with Jaime and her children. Also Lannisters were not known to reject things that were offered to them.

He held out his hand it was scarred tattooed and had gaudy rings on his fingers. She suppressed a shudder everything about him was rough and graceless how were these Greyjoys even counted as Lords?

"Alone. I do not prefer to share the saddle," she informed him with a tone that left no room for negotiation she learned that from her father.

Euron hopped off the steed, Cersei had to admit he aged better than Robert did. A drink flask jutting from inside his tunic could be seen. Her late husband her future one seemed to share a lot in common – whoring and excessive drinking.

Cersei smirked triumphantly as he stood in front of her she had a brief fantasy of herself on the Iron throne with this cocky Greyjoy bowing to her. She gave him a true smile this time pleased with the image of him bending the knee to her in her brief daydream where she was the Queen of the seven kingdoms.

When Euron slapped the horse's behind Cersei's smile died as she watched the horse disappear. The fantasy faded quickly as she realised that she would never be the Queen of the seven kingdoms as long as Tywin Lannister lived and ruled through Joffrey Baratheon.

She finally looked at the man she would have to marry because he father willed it. He had blue eyes, dark hair and whiskers. He reminded her of Robert so much that she wanted to vomit. She averted her eyes and took a purposeful step forwards and away from her husband to be.

"Welcome to the Iron Islands my Queen. Mind you _they're nothing but rocks and bird shit and a lot of very unattractive people."*_

In the end when Cersei did marry her second husband the only thing Euron Greyjoy had in common with her father was his facial hair.

 ***Actual dialogue from the show.**


End file.
